Wednesday, December 24, 2003
Necessary precautions have been taken. As of five minutes ago, all outer doors have been sealed and time-locked. Windows have been shuttered to block out the outside world. All electronic communication has ceased.
Emergency life-support systems are now in operation. The occupant will be fed and watered until such time as it is deemed unnecessary. Humbugs have been bought. Provision has also been made for what is left of the subject's mental well-being: amusement disks have been provided.
Re-entry into Normality is currently scheduled for two days' time. Or whenever public transport is up and running again, the BBC News comes on at its proper time, and every single merry-chr*st**sing Bob Cratchit is speared fatally through the heart with his own piece of holly, and Tiny Tim is back where he belongs, giving blow-jobs down the Dilly for a wrap of crack.
And it’s a hard, and it's a bitter, rain's a-gonna fall. My dears.