Friday, October 31, 2003
Ten Things I Wish I'd Known Five Days Ago
When you draw up a detailed list for your holiday week of things to do, places and people to visit, and chores to get out of the way, then less than ten per cent of said list will get done. And you will beat yourself up over it.
Those dark circles under your eyes are not hereditary. A good solid eight hours' sleep every night gets rid of them faster than Yves Saint Laurent's Touche Éclat ever will.
Missing out on going to the gym five days in a row will not result in you blowing up into Leigh Bowery proportions. It may, however, help to put your own personal body-fascism into some sort of perspective.
When you plan your entire week-off around the focal point of a delivery from Sainsbury's To You, then you need to do some fine-tuning on your social life.
Deciding on Monday that you'd like to hop on the Eurostar later in the week for a couple of days of ooh-là-là-là, means that, come Friday, you won't have got any further than SE1.
Day-time telly really is as bad as they say it is. And just when did they move Countdown away from its regular slot?
Despite telling your work colleagues to feel free to contact you if there are any problems, your phone stubbornly refuses to ring. This is their sneaky way of reminding you that you are not indispensable.
If you decide to spend much of the week working at home on the proposal for a freelance project for which there's no guaranteed payment, then you will invariably remember there is laundry to do, knick-knacks to be dusted, CDs and videos to catalogue, and a blog to be written.
London is possibly the greatest city in the world, with a wealth of attractions, the grooviest galleries, must-see museums, top historical sites, and the finest theatre around. Apparently.
Just one lunchtime drink on Old Compton Street is never just one lunchtime drink on Old Compton Street, and you really are fooling precisely no-one.