Saturday, May 03, 2003
Putting It Together
Before assembly, please ensure your purchase is complete, and that you have all the required tools. Should any listed part be missing, please contact our telephone support desk *(special rates apply), where Manisha (or her mum) will be glad to help. Any missing items will be despatched immediately from our centrally-located warehouse in Pyongyang, and you should receive them sometime.
In the meantime, position Side Panel 2A ("D" on the accompanying diagram) at an angle of approximately ninety (90) degrees to Front Panel X1 ("1A"), ensuring that Plug C of 2A ("D") and Plug D of 2A ("D") slot firmly into, respectively, Socket CA of X1 ("1A") and Socket CB of X1 ("1A") . While still holding 2A ("D") and X1 ("1A") firmly in place, slide Panel P1 ("2A/X1") (following the direction of the arrows) into the groove made by the conjunction of 2A ("D") and X1 ("1A"), simultaneously connecting Side Panel 2C ("J") to Front Panel X1 ("1A") You may find that Plugs E and F of 2C ("J") may not fit securely into Sockets CE and CF of 2C ("J"). If this is the case, it is quite acceptable to take a hacksaw (see: tools you will need) and apply it to your jugular ("F/C(K)").
Yes. That's right. You've guessed it. Argos. Cheapo chest-of-drawers.
John Lewis next time round.